Ask Per My Last #2
Ask Per My Last is an advice column based on (anonymized versions) of questions I get asked a lot these days. You can submit your own questions here.
Dear Per My Last,
I’ve been at my current job for a few years. I don’t have much to complain about overall, but I feel like my growth has flatlined and am getting an itch to look for what’s next. Should I just be content where I am or is jumping ship the right move?
Sincerely,
Quarter-Life Crisis
Dear Quarter Life,
Ah, the ennui! It’s giving Frances Ha, Reality Bites, etc. This should bring you great comfort. There is nothing more human than hitting a skid in your twenties.
Often, dissatisfaction with our jobs is a symptom of an underlying uneasiness with our lives. It’s no wonder that so many words about this experience are negations: dissatisfaction, uneasiness. This moment is less about what you have than a creeping worry about what you do not. Wait, should I have gone to law school? How did so-and-so earn enough money to buy an apartment in Tribeca? Sometimes what feels like a desire for a new job is actually just the antsy feeling that comes with removing optionality. If I become a Director of Communications, I’ll never be a Professor of Political Theory.
This is to say: Don’t try to solve a life problem with a job solution. It’s treating the symptom rather than the cause; it’s putting a BandAid on a bullet hole.
So what does this mean you should do job-wise? In my experience, the itch for something more isn’t necessarily a sign you should leave. But it is a sign you should pause and look around. This is a healthy thing to do regularly whether or not you actively want to leave. A mentor once told me to get an offer at least once a year. The interview process helps you understand what companies value in a hire (and keeps you up-to-date on salary comps).
This doesn’t have to be a full-throttle search. You can start by perusing roles on LinkedIn or checking out the careers pages of your wishlist companies. Have conversations with peers and mentors in adjacent roles. Your goal isn’t to land an offer. It’s to start homing in on what’s important to you. Let yourself yearn for something more; let yourself feel the holes in your current role. What are the rough edges you come up against as you talk to people? What sounds dreamy; what sounds icky?
Here are a few factors I’ve found to be central in my own searches. You won’t find among them standard fare like salary, benefits, and role. These things matter, but in my experience they’re not the root of job ennui, which is rooted in the deeper stuff: the marrow of your job, if you will.
Vision. What’s the company’s goal? Are you into it on a visceral level, not just a theoretical one? This is really personal; there are no right answers here. But if you don’t read and you’re working for a book publisher, you’re inevitably going to feel like something fundamental is missing.
Leadership. You’re going to spend a lot of time working with your manager. Do you vibe? Is it fun to talk to them? Do you just get each other, or does it feel like you’re speaking another language when you try to convey an idea? You don’t need to be besties with your manager (boundaries etc), but you’re in for a bad time if hanging with them feels like an awkward Hinge date: good on paper with no IRL chemistry. Ideally your manager is someone you respect and admire, and with whom working feels like a partnership, not a delegation.
Talent density. The best companies cultivate an incredible density of talent. If you meet anyone meh in your interview process, run. Talent density is important while you’re at a company, because working with incompetent people sucks. It also sets you up to be a part of a vibrant alumni community later on, so it’s worth investigating what the company’s alums go on to do. Palantir is a great training ground for entrepreneurs, for instance, while Epic Games was excellent at preparing folks for Big Tech management.
Scale of impact. If you work at Meta, you can influence how most of the world communicates. If you work at an upstart social media platform, you can probably have more impact on the company itself. Which matters more to you? Again, there are no right answers! Just what sets your heart aflutter.
Company trajectory. If you’re eager to grow in your role, find a growing company. You want to be someplace where there’s more work than people to do it. That’s how you get unreasonable responsibility, or what
calls J-curve opportunities. I’ve loved roles where managers have let me do crazy shit like rewrite the company’s homepage three months in. And I’ve been the most frustrated when I have to slowly earn the right to the next rung of responsibility, even when I absolutely 100% know I could do the thing three rungs away. Other people prefer the rubric of a job ladder and do better in environments that are more stable and predictable.
Sometimes this process will result in you landing a new role. Just as often, however, it helps me appreciate where I already am.
What do you think through when you’re looking for a new role?
Wish I had found this a year ago!